not dead, just busy :)

I haven’t updated in awhile.  But for those following my process things are mostly good. I am just swamped at work and working on two large projects for local police departments.  

I will write a much overdue update in the next few days.


Looking great – 17 days post ALT Phallo

After a few initial setbacks, things are finally looking up.  

I had an infection at around 8 days post op in the urethra.  Weirdly it was in a spot that was not touched by the surgical team, but I have a feeling was caused by the catheter.  It resulted in a not so pleasant smelling slightly painful infection.  

My surgeon started me on a PICC line, which is an IV that is inserted in your bicep and fed to just above your heart.  They are fairly common and used because its easier and it is an IV you can keep in for a long time without having a collapse. The best part is you can also draw blood from the same line, so one procedure saves you form multiple IVs and multiple blood draws.  

I basically have been on 7 infusions a day since last Thursday. The large dose of antibiotics have been rough on my stomach, but I am finally getting some relief. I believe on Sunday the home nurse will be coming to take out the line and I will switch to oral antibiotics. 

Yesterday I saw Dr. Crane who told me everything is looking great. All signs of infection are gone, my penis looks great, swelling is going down and my skin is healing up quite nice.  I do have to say it really looks great and in the end, I am kind of happy not to have such large scarring on my forearms. It is still going to take 2 more procedures at least to be as perfect as possible, but I am finally feeling really confident and quite happy.  

Mentally, this is a huge surgery to prepare for. Even being post meta and hysto, it is a lot for someone to take on. I have also felt quite homesick, missing my life back home. My work has been amazingly supportive and sent me flowers, a card and are preparing a welcome back party for me. I got a few other cards, lots of phone calls, hundreds of texts. This all helped my homesickness in some ways, but also made me miss home even more at the same time.  It was great to have my mom here for 10 days or so.  I miss her too and am glad to be making it home soon. 

The one thing I didn’t expect was to be as homesick as I was because I never felt that way in Belgrade. I loved Belgrade. SF is fun, but not a city I’d want to live in. I also attribute it to just enjoying my life more now than I did when I was going through meta. I am much happier living where I do now than where I was in my life then. 

I am going home in a week. I booked a first class ticket for both me and my caretaker, and also requested wheelchair assistance. I am moving pretty well right now but am unsure just how far I can walk. Thankfully it is only an hour and 45 minute flight home.

So what does the phallus look like?  Well it actually looks pretty clean. I have no glans yet, no erectile implant, and no UL to the tip. I do have scrotoplasty with implants done in a VY advancement, which means he pulled them up forward and they hang more naturally.  The only downside to it so far is that since I was unable to use my original donor site the flap was not clear of hair. So now I am going to have to do that post op.  And thankfully I live in a city where that is not a problem to find someone to do it.  Dr. Crane encouraged me to do it ASAP to minimize the pain level of electrolysis.  

As far as what I can do now.  pretty much not a lot. I can climb stairs, walk, sleep on my back or left side, shower, no dietary restrictions. I can begin back at the gym 6 weeks post op, swim or hot tub 8 weeks. Weirdly I can get a tattoo today if I wanted, although I am not. Pretty much I can do whatever I want as long as my body allows me to do so, but being hooked up to the infusions so often really puts restrictions on what I do.  I still have my suprapubic catheter in, and will probably go home with it in. 


Overall experience?  Dr. Crane really is very talented and gives great aesthetics. His surgical team he uses is top notch and very likely saved me a lot of pain by diagnosing my rare arterial condition prior to surgery. I am so glad to have put my trust in such a caring and talented team. While days have been hard I am beyond thrilled with where I am and am excited to see what the next two procedures bring. Both procedures will be out-patient and only require a 7 day stay in the area… something I will handle much easier.  


Post-Op and well

Monday I had surgery.  Everything went so incredibly well.  My surgical team was amazing and I was so lucky to be cared for by the Buncke Clinic which is one of the top microsurgical places in the world.  My surgical team is extremely pleased with how well I did and how great everything is looking.  They thought I had a hematoma but it ended up just being swelling and seems to have healed on its own.

Of course I am sore, but to be honest my results have surpassed my expectations.  I have had so much support and love from the people around me and my family here, my friends… even my lawyer has called me 4 times to check on me.

This made me realize how important it was to pick a surgeon with good training.  15 minutes before surgery I had to choose whether or not I wanted to switch to ALT phallo or possibly not have phallo.  As it turns out, I have a rare arterial condition that the microsurgical team detected.  Needless to say I went with the ALT phallo for safety reasons and my surgical team did so amazing.  The results should be nearly identical except for the donor spot.  My team was able to come up with a plan that hit everything that I wanted from forearm and kept me safe and healthy.  I have absolutely no infection, disadhesion (opening of incision/wounds), major inflammation, or any other issue.  I know this is rare and it hasn’t meant my recovery has been easy or pain free … but it has been everything I could have asked for.

I would absolutely do it all again and put my trust in Dr. Crane and the Buncke Team.

Pictures will eventually be posted, but not on this site.  Feel free to message me for details.

1 week to go

… and I am starting to feel some anxiety about it.  Not in the unsure about doing it thing… but in the long road to recovery ahead of me.  I feel confident in my choice, but also scared.  The same thing happened with all of my previous surgeries.  

On Friday morning I turned over and looked at my phone and had a mini anxiety attack… I have a countdown on my phone and it hit single digits.  For 30 seconds I felt panic over how soon it was and whether or not I was ready.  Then it all kicked in and my mind assured me I would be fine.  

I am still unsure on size of dick that I want.  I am having a really hard time deciding but think I am going to go with a slightly less than average.  somewhere between 5” and 6”

I spent the weekend following doctors orders… The missed vaginal tissue from my previous vaginectomy is aggravated by sex, meaning it secretes fluid as it was meant to and that determines the size of the growth. In a less sexual period the fluid id absorbed and it shrinks in size.  In a more sexual period of time it grows in size.  Dr. Crane told me that the larger it is, the easier it will be for him to find it.  So I took a hot couple to the coast with me and lets just say we succeeded. Had a great time and also did a lot of relaxing.  Plus they are just fun to be around.  I will be glad to be rid of this little fluid filled growth in me and not have to deal with it anymore.  It can be slightly painful when it gets larger.  

In non-related news.  I am sad… my best friend moved to Boston today. He and I have been through a lot and I am going to miss him.  I already booked a flight to Boston to see him in September.  He is the one who went with me to Belgrade for both trips and took care of me.  It will be sad not to have his company in SF, although another good friend is coming.  

In other non-related news… a raccoon has killed my fifth chicken.  I believe it is the same one.  Now he absolutely has to die.  Hopefully all the times at the range will ensure as painless of a death as possible.  But man I hate that fucking raccoon.  

9 days

cant believe I am down to single digits!  

17 days!

So close!  I am seeing more and more results from the guys before me and Dr. Crane is one amazing surgeon.  I am anxiously awaiting the 15 days before I leave for SF.  


In other great news I was awarded another full assistantship for my graduate program for next year.  Apparently I was the top choice for full sponsorship and it basically leaves me with only a small amount of fees to pay for school next year.  In a year I will officially have my Masters degree.  

3.5 WEEKS!

I can’t believe how close it is now.  Just 24 days away.  Prep is all going well. Flights are booked, found someone to stay with, insurance is all well, laser hair removal is done, EKG is done and passed as is my physical.  Monday I get the blood work done.  

For sure it has snuck up on me quick, and yes I am feeling anxious about it and just as excited as well.